The Boka***** Kalkutta conductor

It was an incident of last week. Myself and Chunnu (aka cobra, tiwari, uff, whatever) were coming back from Dalla's (Ashok Mazumder) wedding. We had decided to take the 10 AM wala bus from his place (bethuadahari, Nadia: Some 3 hours journey from calcutta towards N-E) to the airport and then catch the 3:30 spicejet to Bangalore. 

Fortunately we dint have to wait too long before we got a WB govt bus (Malda-Calcutta). We got in and told the conductor that we will go to the airport, jab aayega bata dena. Us bhale insaan ne biiig smile deke kaha "jaroor" and he even arranged seats for us considering we are the long journey passengers for him. Main socha kitna acha aadmi hai unlike the usual kamina bus conductors (Pardon me Mr. Rajanikanth & his infinite bhakts :P).

Then we slept off feeling relaxed and ascertained of at least we won't miss our destination point. But the conductor had some other idea, i wonder why! Now, I was awake by 12:30. We reached barasat by 1(It's like 15 minutes from airport: pre-fetched info). Sensing we are nearing the airport, I asked the conductor guy: Bhaiya, airport aur kitna time lagega. And surprisingly a rude reply came, jab aayega bata dunga. 10 minutes gone, I again asked. This time, an even ruder reply, jab aayega bata dunga. For a second I thought, what the fuck did bite this guy, man; whyTF did he bark!!! I didn't enquire again (couldn't have handled the rudest reply now). 40 more minutes gone (2 o'clock by now), he started shouting sialdah, sialdah, last stop! 

I: boss, airport kahan gaya?

Conductor: Wo to gaya

I: bulaya kyon nahi?

Conductor: Bulaya tha, 1 number 

I: WTF!!! Now, how on earth can I know these bokas (aka bengalis) call their airport ek number when they had fought so hard to get their airport renamed to netaji subhash bose international airport.

Now all this while if you were wondering what chunnu was doing! No prize for guessing, he was still dozing on that ass-hurting seats :P. Finally we took a taxi from sialdah and reached airport on time (some 45 minutes journey and 170 bucks). Thankfully, we started early that day (which normally happens once in a blue moon)

In essence -

All conductors are assholes and kalkutta conductors: "the real boka*****s"